You F**k Up Just as Much…

Change isn’t always bad…

‘Growth’ is defined as, “the process of increasing in physical size”.

So what about ‘spiritual growth’ ?

I’m far from religious, but I do believe in God. I f*** up (sin) daily, as we all do. We all f*** up, everyday all day, but still have the audacity to judge the next. But our spiritual growth is not solely on religion, it has much to do with building ourselves up morally and placing more emphasis on our values.

Our morals play a drastic role in our relationships. I don’t know one successful person, that became successful on their own. I welcome correction, so anyone, please chime in… When we’re viewed as someone that is unbecoming, in a matter that is against someone else’s morals, it causes friction. By placing that emphasis on what we value, gives us a purpose. We usually handle or business when it comes to maintaining our ‘valuables’, right?

I do my best not to hold myself above anyone else, but let’s be realistic, one too many people need assistance with their “humbleness” (and yes, I made a word up). I’m going to let someone know when they’re f***ing up and I expect the same in return! Correct me if I need correcting. How do I get mad at someone that wants to see me do something right? Or even took their own time to pay attention to how f**ed up I am.

But remember, there are people who are envious of you and what you value…

They want that happiness, security, love, relationships, etc. Whatever puts a smile on your face or places you in your comfort zone, is what others want when they’re struggling in those areas of life. What they fail to realize is that, they need to reevaluate their morals, values and lifestyle. “Why am I so unhappy?”, is the common question.

We become unhappy when we lose control. Everyone wants to be in control, but have no idea of how to control ‘self’. How do you expect to control a situation, when you can’t control yourself? We have to ask ourselves, “what’s my purpose?” If your purpose still leaves you unhapoy, then that’s not your purpose… Our purpose is based on our morals and what we do to morally maintain what we value.

Do you do things for other people to help them or yourself (personal gain/favors)? Most fail to realize, but ‘Option A’ eventually forces ‘Option B’ when you’re sincere about your selflessness. The barter system is real when others recognize our genuine sincerity with wanting to be there for them. Typically, help is reciprocated some type of way. And it’s because they feel obligated within themselves to do for you. ‘Help’ should come natural when we see someone in need. It should never be looked at as an opportunity to take advantage of someone or glorify ourselves.

If you’re not selfish with anything else, be selfish about bettering yourself. You’ll be accused of ‘changing’, being ‘stuck up’, ‘having your sh*t together’, etc. All of the things the next person is struggling with figuring out. But rather than them asking or watching to see how you’re doing it, you become a target, rather than a source of guidance. They’re frustrated with their life, no need for you to be frustrated for having some of your sh*t together.

Keep pushing and loving yourself/those that love You! Love is in your heart, not between your legs… Learning to love yourself makes loving everyone else, just that much easier.


Who Cares…

Our issues are just that, “our issues…”

Burdening someone with our problems is a choice we all have to endure and will usually choose not to do so!

Most of the time, we mask our issues or dissociate, but rarely deal with them, unless we’re forced. Others offer or even try to force the help on us, because they see/know we can’t get whatever it is under control by ourselves. But what do we usually do? Continue to reiterate the “fact” that we’re “cool”, “ok” or my personal favorite, “FINE”:

F***ed up

Doesn’t matter who we are, there is always someone willing to help us through our issues, but cannot unless we accept and allow them to do so. There are still individuals that function from integrity and from their hearts. Many do not, which justifies the solidarity most of us have and our lack of trust. But be observant… Our rewards come from how we choose to carry ourselves and how we perform in our daily lives.

Everyone is not for us, but we tend to push those away that are. By the time we realize, “hell, they were right all along”, it’s too late… Companionship is important, whether it’s a partner/spouse or just a damn good friend. None of us were meant to walk this earth alone and our children weren’t meant to be raised by one parent. It’s usually going to be that “team effort” that gets us through life, not self…

Love those that show you they love you. Words mean nothing without action.

Slap Yourself…

Knowing our own personal value and potential are usually blind items…

Others will acknowledge both value and potential, before we have any idea of what’s going on. They will either encourage us to be great or deter us from being great.

Being great does not mean we have everything we want or get to do as we please. It basically means we figured out whatever it was we set out to do. My son had a difficult time learning to tie his shoes years ago. He became great at it, because he kept working at it. He can tie the hell out of a knot, and he made sure his younger brother is capable of the same. Not to mention, he’s a couple of years shy of being a teenager, but can identify vehicles by the sounds of their engine… That shows the potential of his greatness!

We have to stop the lack of someone else’s greatness from hindering us from embracing our own. Greatness is acknowledged in many different ways, for many different things, from many different angles and everyone is great at something(s)! We just need to pay as much attention to self, as we do attempting to protect ourselves from our so-called, “haters”. Which is usually self, wanting some type of pity or unnecessary attention.

Take some time for you to learn you!


Sports have both offense and defense…

The offense and defense never play at the same time. The offensive plays score for the team. The defense prevents the other team from scoring.

Being on the offense means you’re working towards building (growing) your team’s score. The offense pushes forward maneuvering around and through obstacles. They’re tactful in their movements to avoid as much resistance as possible. They work together on a common goal, TO SCORE!

The defense is put in place to prevent that greatness… The defense consists of those obstacles that the offense must maneuver around to score. They do not want to see the offense score, because they want to win!

Once that defense becomes too strong, the offense breaks down and eventually quits…

Once the offense quits, the entire team becomes defensive to preserve and protect their best player(s).

Life is played as such… The only difference is that everyone else is on the other team.

Everyone else is hungry too!

Everyone else wants to score.

Everyone else wants the endorsements.

Everyone else wants to be the star.

Everyone else wants to great!

We’re all for ourselves and no one is for “us”, as a whole (team). Everyone wants to win, but not at the expense of someone sharing in that joy of knowing what “winning” actually feels like. We want to be happy, but won’t allow ourselves that comfort because we’re always playing defense.

Is personal success that more important than leaving a legacy for others to continue to build on, well after you’re gone?

The Bullsh** Era…

Our pasts have a direct coorelation on our present, in one to two ways…

1. We are either living our lives to be better than our past.

2. Or, we’re still living in the past as to where our past is living for us.

We tend to base our drive on how we were raised. If it were rough, realistically, we would prefer a smooth, yet progressing lifestyle. We want better than what we had. But if we don’t know better, how do we strive for ‘better’?

When we don’t know ‘better’, we tend to settle. We settle for mediocracy. We settle for lies. We basically settle for less than what we deserve. Then we expect others to settle for the same. Why?

Outside of wanting everyone to be happy and accepted, why do we not uphold common universal standards anymore? It’s not meant for everyone to happy and accepted by everyone. If that were the case, everyone would be wealthy. But everyone can’t handle the responsibilities of being wealthy, let alone, have the mental fortitude to even attain the status. Even the wealthy don’t like the wealthy at times. The poor definitely have issues getting along. They spend their time praying, but feel that’s all they need to do. In order for prayer to work, ACTION is necessary on our ends to show faith. We have to remember that ‘faith’ is also an ACTION word, not just something we possess.

If we want different, we have to do and think different.

Obstacles are placed in our way on purpose, whether it’s someone against you or divine forces. We either go around them or through them! We should not allow them to hinder our progress, but we do.

They’ll Follow You Through Hell!

One of the greatest and most spiritual men, to ever lay foot on this earth, was a great leader, but a better follower. Jesus Christ… He followed God’s word to the tee. By doing so, people followed him and reciprocated his teachings. He was loved by those that understood Him and shunned by those that refused to understand his God given purpose.

Lies are lies, regardless of the so-called size of the lie.

Mistakes are mistakes, we all make them, and always will…

But what defines us is how we handle the lies we tell/receive and the mistakes we contribute to… No one is innocent, by any means, because we are all guilty of something. But we are so quick to pass judgment on others because of our lack of understanding and our dire need to always be “right”.

This world is so dishonest, that a gesturing smile or a “how are you?” are taken out of context. Presenting a problem, instantly labels you as the “problem”, because you’re not in acceptance or simply don’t understand and just looking for clarification. Any bit of assistance offered is taken as a threat or a shot at someone’s character/talents. Everyone is about self. It’s frowned upon to push someone, when you see they’re struggling to push themselves (mind your own business or stop being a bully). It’s frowned upon to challenge someone to be better than you or better than they were the day before. And that’s just pure “healthy competition”! Someone that wants to grow with us, not keep us down, are constantly ridiculed because genuine help is as rare as finding two honest preachers in the same church nowadays.

If your circle consists of a group of stagnant mediocre individuals, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. What’s the point in surrounding yourself with people that you aren’t learning from? No one is smarter nor better than the next in some aspect of life. So no one can say the next person cannot teach or tell them anything. That is the biggest ignorance our world deals with today. I ask myself everyday, “how could I have been here this long and my kids are giving me wisdom that I missed throughout my lifetime?”

Selfishness holds more prominence than selflessness. We are only as strong as we allow ourselves to be. The number of views or likes on social media defines the fabricated lives most people live. In reality, actual social skills are becoming non-existent in public and at home in private. That is unless we’re going to a club or a party somewhere. Because that’s all we know how to do is party, get high, have sex and be sorry (both apologetic and just useless). Our failures have become someone else’s fault, because it is easier to blame, than to humble and correct ourselves.

Smaller circles are more prominent due to control. The less people in our circles, the more control and roles are easily identified. Larger circles are filled with drama, pettiness, lies and masks. They usually fail because one too many don’t do what say/say what they do, not aware of their role or they fail because there are too many so-called leaders and not enough followers.

Being a leader consists of so much other than just directing and taking charge. It’s knowing when to step back and allow someone else to lead while we follow. Leading is allowing someone else to educate you, as you’ve been educated. And you take that knowledge and pass it to the next. A true leader never stops welcoming the teachings others, nor accepts/welcomes mediocracy. The potential we all have is limitless in its own right. Having that confidence in ourselves allows us to see our own potential, along with everyone else’s. But we have to be able to see beneath/behind what is standing in front of us to do so. If not, you’ll barely scratch the surface, which will be you scratching your dry scalp trying to figure things out the hard way and ALONE…

Wit’cha Grown A**…

The phrase, “I’m grown”, has taken its toll on society, in regards to that being our justification for bad judgment. But we cannot seem to figure out why our young adults are lacking strong parenting, mentoring and role models at home. Being “grown” is an excuse and cop out for unjustified ignorance (we should know better). Our children are expected to be better versions of ourselves, not exact replicas. They see and hear all from the “examples”, that are “leading by example.”

Being able to see ourselves in our young ones is amazing! We see our strengths and we see our flaws… We’ve grown up and have the oppornuity to do it all over again, but only as a guide and spectator, not a dictator or slave master… One of my most fulfilling past times is watching and listening to my children sleep (they sound like trains, like myself, when they’re enjoying their sleep). Their relaxed mindsets and bodies, remind me that I held some responsibility with creating a life. I’m actually responsible for a life (4 to be exact with the addition of a few that also mean just as much to me)! I’m responsible for making sure they are prepared for the world when their time comes to join it. I get a second chance on life to become more successful by ensuring their success. I have the opportunity to either be forgotten or live on forever just by instilling solid morals and values to follow.

But that is not modern day parenting… Kings/Queens wanted sons to extend their family’s name and traditions. They wanted their daughters to marry into prestigious families for combined strength, with similar morals/values, to ensure their daughter’s security, yet their family’s bloodlines everlasting existence.

Growing up, we’ve all vowed what we will do different as parents, as I’m sure all children also do. But when we become parents, too much of the “what I wouldn’t do”, has some relevance as to why things were said and done as they were.

At times, I truly feel my children make up a large portion of my support system. In their eyes, failure is never an option for me. They make me aware of my bad/good decisions, self neglect and the impact of my tutelage, whether it is/was good or bad… They understand that their overall success depends on the foundations their parents are laying down before them. Disappointment, although it cannot always be avoided, is my only true enemy. Most will ask, “what about the devil?”

What about him? I’ve met him several times throughout my life, to know he’s no threat to me. Unless I allow him to be. We all have our purpose. As parents, nothing he has to offer, contributes to ours.

Parents often tend to forget, that we are also someone’s child. As children, we were told our voices meant nothing and it was too often that we did not feel appreciated, respected or even loved. But we’re entirely too comfortable with exposing our children to the same, if not worst, misery.

As a parent, what do you feel your purpose is?