Bitter Women 101…

It’s too often that a man, has no voice when accusations begin to fly from a bitter woman. That woman, will always be given the benefit of the doubt, regardless of proven facts or proven lies… It is more prevalent in situations concerning a father and a bitter mother.

In most cases, a mistake is made, acknowledged and supposedly “corrected”, from the man’s point of view, because he’s told, “all is forgiven”. The man knows he fucked up, so he does what any other man would do, he kisses her ass and continues to beg for forgiveness, because he realized his poor sense of judgment jeopardized what was most important to him, which was her. But women feed off of that “sense of control” because it gives them power to have their way with less resistance.

What a lot of women fail to realize, men are entirely more forgiving than women. Women just feel the need to broadcast fault, more than men. Men don’t speak on too many issues. So, when they do, it may be a good idea to listen. Men are mostly about action. They’ll work towards correcting the problem before they bitch about it. What’s the point of arguing about it, when there’s always a solution? Ladies, you miscalculated, problem solved and it’s implied, “all is forgiven” and we shut the fuck about it… We’re not going to keep reminding you about it, unless you keep making the same mistakes. Then at that point in time, it’s being percieved as intentional.

But that one mistake a man makes, gives a woman complete and total control! And that control, is usually abused, rather than actually being controlled. When she feels that control fading, she’ll find a way to victimize herself, to the point of bringing up the past. For a man, that guilt is always there. So no need to continue reminding him about it… That self inflicted pain he brought upon himself, by causing her pain, will never go away. She knows that and uses it to her advantage.

– Lies become “truth”…

– The truth becomes “lies”…

And “reality” is whatever she claims it to be and nothing less. Any credibility that man has ever had with her, is gone and she’s going to do what she can to convince others of the same. That man is expected to accept whatever she throws his way. Even if it’s something that she would never accept from him. If he does not accept it, once again, that past mistake becomes his present mistake and it’s safe to say, that relationship is now “toxic”.

When kids are involved, it’s almost as if, they’re usually used as leverage. And who’s going to deny a mother’s natural nurturing instincts over a man, who only planted the seed? Because she carried the child, she’s “ultimately responsible” for the child, right? According to most state laws, that is correct. Once again, that man has no voice… That man becomes a source of income, just a tool. Some may even say a scapegoat to relieve a since of responsibility from the mother, who’s supposedly, “ultimately responsible” for that child and doing whatever she deems necessary, regardless of the father’s input. Yeah, that sounds about right…

Now to the man, he begins to accept her “truths”, although they’re apart of this fabricated reality she’s created in her head to attempt to maintain control. He begins to search for his “comforts” elsewhere, whether its:

– conversation

– positive attention/support

– guidance

– monetary

– peace

– intimacy

Whatever it may be, that she’s no longer providing/offering, other than headaches, he’s going to go searching for it. And that makes matters worst because now he understands he has options. Before, she was his only option and she made that perfectly clear when she “forgave” him. But she failed to realize, when she voiced “forgiveness”, her actions needed to also match her words. And now she’s spoken something into existence that she truly did not want.

Most men don’t have good communication skills when it comes emotions and emotionally detach themselves from women. It’s all chase. But they usually grow out of it, if they don’t run themselves off or become a woman’s bitch. Which seems to be the norm nowadays, women taking care of and “raising men”. So when a real man capable of taking care of business and has good communication skills, break shit down in depth to a woman that’s been damaged to the point of no return, she’s too intimidated to deal with him. This man that’s giving her what she’s never had before, which is that pure unadulterated attention, scares the shit out of her! He’s encouraging growth. He wants to put her back together. He’s watching and listening to her, even when they’re not together. He’s willing to help her reestablish a sound foundation. And he’s letting her know exactly what he’s doing… In this day in age of lies, betrayal and selfishness, that concept is too good to be true, so women push off and run!

Human sociality has recieved some very broad platforms over the last couple of decades, called cable television, the internet and social media. People are more in love with their phones, than the person lying next to them. And relationships have basically become public knowledge. At one point, the only thing that mattered was two people falling in love, having a big family and living “happily ever after”! Family helped family through problems, not encourage and entertain them. But now, things are different. Everything is dramatized and more fueled by attention, “likes” and “views”…

I can point the finger back and forth all day everyday. But I’ve just explained how both men and women have life fucked up for those that are truly busting their asses trying to get the most out of it for that “happily ever after”. Both men and women bring these expected toxic traits into new relationships and it’s a cycle that too many are blind to, because they’re only concerned about what they’re “getting out of it”… Our soul responsibility is to ensure our children do not make the same mistakes we have or will, and to be better and do better. At the end of each day, as parents, aunts, uncles or whatever your role is in anyone’s life, its about showing people they’re loved and that we all have room for improvement.

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Spilled Some Tea…

I remember turning the volume down on the TV late at night when my mom and sister were asleep, just to see if I could catch a glimpse of a naked woman on a scrambled station…

Today, we can see all we want on our phones in 4K and HD wherever we are.

I read two posts that got me thinking… A post about a Starter jacket and a post on drugs being related to depression…

Is anyone paying attention to how young these kids are nowadays, taking drugs? I’m an 80s baby, all we wanted were Starter jackets. These kids nowadays glorify being junkies.

Please think about that…

What’s going on, so traumatic in these kids lives, that they’re barely reaching puberty and turning to drugs… And suicide?

It’s our “parenting”…

Most kids don’t feel comfortable going to their parents or we’re just not there for them when they need us to be there. We don’t make ourselves approachable, available or we make major decisions for them based on our selfish wants/needs, in total disregard of what’s best for them.

I didn’t have the best childhood, but I had one. These kids are raising themselves and that’s depressing, just thinking about it, let alone living it. They’re making decisions for themselves to take drugs (to escape the reality that’s too overwhelming), have sex (because no one’s there to explain what love/marriage and a family truly is) or take their own lives (because we refuse to STFU to listen and try to understood their point of view).

As parents, we have to remember we were also kids, and some still are if their parents are still actively guiding/mentoring them in their lives as adults. This generation of kids, are so accustomed to single parent households, for them, it’s a shock to see both parents at school or even together, for that matter.

The 80s and 90s may have been the best, but we suck as parents…

“Love & HipHop”, music/television glorifying sex and drugs, the internet, these streets, etc, are what’s raising a majority of our kids. Not us…

Practice What You Preach

What is your attitude like at home? And be honest with yourself…

When we hear “lord”, our mindsets automatically go to religion. A lord is defined as:

one having power and authority over others“.

But then again, the same people teaching religion, also hold a significant influence on your lordship at home, work or even in these streets. And there are a lot of fake individuals (seeking control by power) in the religious world. They preach to hate and/or love, monogamy (but have side pieces), equality (will ask their congregation to take care of them, but when the congregation needs help, they send them to pray) or just being God fearing, when they obviously don’t respect His word.

To have any type of authority or power over anyone, you have to be in control. Genuine control is earned from “leading by example” and is respected more. No one wants to follow someone that won’t get dirty with them, nor practices what they preach. Power is forced control, “by any means necessary”, hypocrisies, lies, manipulation, etc. And is usually followed by hostility and/or conflict, with unnecessary casualties (which means others have taken sides or been hurt in the process).

You can’t be an influential lord of your household by POWER. Power doesn’t show love. It may show respect, but it’s that love and respect that keeps lives moving in the right directions.

Always stand firm with your beliefs! Don’t fold! Show people you practice what you preach (ensure your words match your actions as much as you possibly can).

F**k Society…

Nowadays, society is more concerned about who struggles more. Who has less, compared to who has more…

Equality has always been nonexistent, yet people still expect it, like everyone expects to win a $1 billion lottery jackpot…

It’s truly about finding and knowing your lane. Are you an educator? Do you enjoy working with your hands? Or do you have a gift to capture an audience’s attention?

It’s too often, we allow others to choose our fate or tell us what our passions are, and they have no earthly idea of who we are, as individuals. And that’s due to the inequality that has always existed.

It’s natural for anyone to want to be great at some point in their life, but to what extent? It’s rare to come across someone that will help you surpass them in life. When/If that happens, walls automatically go up on our end. We’re trying to figure out this person’s motive for their generosity. So we go on the offense (trying to stay 3-4 steps ahead of them), rather than just embracing their genuine guidance and help. Then we’re defensive (argumentative) when they attempt to correct us…

People can be trifling and that’s no secret. But “only the strong survive”, right? “There’s a sucker born every minute” and we’ve all been that “sucker” at some point in our lives, to someone and someone has been ours.

A garbageman’s purpose, to most, is to pick up garbage. To me, they’re contributing to keeping my loved one healthy, by removing their known garbage from their lives.

As people, it should never be about who has more or less, but more along the lines of where we fit in to contribute to the overall big picture. We all have our weaknesses, just like we have our strengths. It’s the next person’s strengths that should compliment the next person’s weaknesses.

There is strength in numbers, everyone just can’t count…

You’ve Fallen and You Can’t Get Up…

We all have our problems and I’m sure we all do our damnedest to correct them…

But it’s difficult to keep people out of our business when we have those particular problems, because they care about us. When someone truly cares about you, they’re in your business. When you’re trying to sort things out, they’re right there with you dealing with that anxiety. They’re on you to be a better person, regardless of how cool you believe you are. They understand and know there’s always room for improvement. And will push you to strengthen your weaknesses and even your strengths at times.

You’ll never be the person you are to everyone else, that you are to this one person. This person has more patience with you than your parents. They take more shit from you, than anyone else you’ve probably run out of your life. They stand up to us, look us in our eyes and put us back in our place when that’s where we need to be.

We all just need to be receptive and maintain an open mind when they decide it’s time for them to intervene to contribute to our greatness!

You F**k Up Just as Much…

Change isn’t always bad…

‘Growth’ is defined as, “the process of increasing in physical size”.

So what about ‘spiritual growth’ ?

I’m far from religious, but I do believe in God. I f*** up (sin) daily, as we all do. We all f*** up, everyday all day, but still have the audacity to judge the next. But our spiritual growth is not solely on religion, it has much to do with building ourselves up morally and placing more emphasis on our values.

Our morals play a drastic role in our relationships. I don’t know one successful person, that became successful on their own. I welcome correction, so anyone, please chime in… When we’re viewed as someone that is unbecoming, in a matter that is against someone else’s morals, it causes friction. By placing that emphasis on what we value, gives us a purpose. We usually handle or business when it comes to maintaining our ‘valuables’, right?

I do my best not to hold myself above anyone else, but let’s be realistic, one too many people need assistance with their “humbleness” (and yes, I made a word up). I’m going to let someone know when they’re f***ing up and I expect the same in return! Correct me if I need correcting. How do I get mad at someone that wants to see me do something right? Or even took their own time to pay attention to how f**ed up I am.

But remember, there are people who are envious of you and what you value…

They want that happiness, security, love, relationships, etc. Whatever puts a smile on your face or places you in your comfort zone, is what others want when they’re struggling in those areas of life. What they fail to realize is that, they need to reevaluate their morals, values and lifestyle. “Why am I so unhappy?”, is the common question.

We become unhappy when we lose control. Everyone wants to be in control, but have no idea of how to control ‘self’. How do you expect to control a situation, when you can’t control yourself? We have to ask ourselves, “what’s my purpose?” If your purpose still leaves you unhapoy, then that’s not your purpose… Our purpose is based on our morals and what we do to morally maintain what we value.

Do you do things for other people to help them or yourself (personal gain/favors)? Most fail to realize, but ‘Option A’ eventually forces ‘Option B’ when you’re sincere about your selflessness. The barter system is real when others recognize our genuine sincerity with wanting to be there for them. Typically, help is reciprocated some type of way. And it’s because they feel obligated within themselves to do for you. ‘Help’ should come natural when we see someone in need. It should never be looked at as an opportunity to take advantage of someone or glorify ourselves.

If you’re not selfish with anything else, be selfish about bettering yourself. You’ll be accused of ‘changing’, being ‘stuck up’, ‘having your sh*t together’, etc. All of the things the next person is struggling with figuring out. But rather than them asking or watching to see how you’re doing it, you become a target, rather than a source of guidance. They’re frustrated with their life, no need for you to be frustrated for having some of your sh*t together.

Keep pushing and loving yourself/those that love You! Love is in your heart, not between your legs… Learning to love yourself makes loving everyone else, just that much easier.