It’s too often that a man, has no voice when accusations begin to fly from a bitter woman. That woman, will always be given the benefit of the doubt, regardless of proven facts or proven lies… It is more prevalent in situations concerning a father and a bitter mother.
In most cases, a mistake is made, acknowledged and supposedly “corrected”, from the man’s point of view, because he’s told, “all is forgiven”. The man knows he fucked up, so he does what any other man would do, he kisses her ass and continues to beg for forgiveness, because he realized his poor sense of judgment jeopardized what was most important to him, which was her. But women feed off of that “sense of control” because it gives them power to have their way with less resistance.
What a lot of women fail to realize, men are entirely more forgiving than women. Women just feel the need to broadcast fault, more than men. Men don’t speak on too many issues. So, when they do, it may be a good idea to listen. Men are mostly about action. They’ll work towards correcting the problem before they bitch about it. What’s the point of arguing about it, when there’s always a solution? Ladies, you miscalculated, problem solved and it’s implied, “all is forgiven” and we shut the fuck about it… We’re not going to keep reminding you about it, unless you keep making the same mistakes. Then at that point in time, it’s being percieved as intentional.
But that one mistake a man makes, gives a woman complete and total control! And that control, is usually abused, rather than actually being controlled. When she feels that control fading, she’ll find a way to victimize herself, to the point of bringing up the past. For a man, that guilt is always there. So no need to continue reminding him about it… That self inflicted pain he brought upon himself, by causing her pain, will never go away. She knows that and uses it to her advantage.
– Lies become “truth”…
– The truth becomes “lies”…
And “reality” is whatever she claims it to be and nothing less. Any credibility that man has ever had with her, is gone and she’s going to do what she can to convince others of the same. That man is expected to accept whatever she throws his way. Even if it’s something that she would never accept from him. If he does not accept it, once again, that past mistake becomes his present mistake and it’s safe to say, that relationship is now “toxic”.
When kids are involved, it’s almost as if, they’re usually used as leverage. And who’s going to deny a mother’s natural nurturing instincts over a man, who only planted the seed? Because she carried the child, she’s “ultimately responsible” for the child, right? According to most state laws, that is correct. Once again, that man has no voice… That man becomes a source of income, just a tool. Some may even say a scapegoat to relieve a since of responsibility from the mother, who’s supposedly, “ultimately responsible” for that child and doing whatever she deems necessary, regardless of the father’s input. Yeah, that sounds about right…
Now to the man, he begins to accept her “truths”, although they’re apart of this fabricated reality she’s created in her head to attempt to maintain control. He begins to search for his “comforts” elsewhere, whether its:
– positive attention/support
Whatever it may be, that she’s no longer providing/offering, other than headaches, he’s going to go searching for it. And that makes matters worst because now he understands he has options. Before, she was his only option and she made that perfectly clear when she “forgave” him. But she failed to realize, when she voiced “forgiveness”, her actions needed to also match her words. And now she’s spoken something into existence that she truly did not want.
Most men don’t have good communication skills when it comes emotions and emotionally detach themselves from women. It’s all chase. But they usually grow out of it, if they don’t run themselves off or become a woman’s bitch. Which seems to be the norm nowadays, women taking care of and “raising men”. So when a real man capable of taking care of business and has good communication skills, break shit down in depth to a woman that’s been damaged to the point of no return, she’s too intimidated to deal with him. This man that’s giving her what she’s never had before, which is that pure unadulterated attention, scares the shit out of her! He’s encouraging growth. He wants to put her back together. He’s watching and listening to her, even when they’re not together. He’s willing to help her reestablish a sound foundation. And he’s letting her know exactly what he’s doing… In this day in age of lies, betrayal and selfishness, that concept is too good to be true, so women push off and run!
Human sociality has recieved some very broad platforms over the last couple of decades, called cable television, the internet and social media. People are more in love with their phones, than the person lying next to them. And relationships have basically become public knowledge. At one point, the only thing that mattered was two people falling in love, having a big family and living “happily ever after”! Family helped family through problems, not encourage and entertain them. But now, things are different. Everything is dramatized and more fueled by attention, “likes” and “views”…
I can point the finger back and forth all day everyday. But I’ve just explained how both men and women have life fucked up for those that are truly busting their asses trying to get the most out of it for that “happily ever after”. Both men and women bring these expected toxic traits into new relationships and it’s a cycle that too many are blind to, because they’re only concerned about what they’re “getting out of it”… Our soul responsibility is to ensure our children do not make the same mistakes we have or will, and to be better and do better. At the end of each day, as parents, aunts, uncles or whatever your role is in anyone’s life, its about showing people they’re loved and that we all have room for improvement.